If you and your spouse have decided to call it a day, the natural step to take is to file for divorce. While proceedings are straightforward for many couples, when you have children together, the process can be more difficult to manage. Unlike in the past before you had kids, there are other people’sthoughts and feelings to take into consideration, so here is a guide on how to have a healthy divorce and ensure your child adjusts accordingly.
Once you announce your divorce to your children, you need to encourage conversation and honesty. You may find that your kids bottle up their emotions and shy away from the situation. However, it’s your job as a parent to be there for your children every step of the way to let them know that they can always talk to you about anything. If your kids need more time to get their head around things, allow them to do so.
Avoid Sharing Negative Feelings
Regardless of why you are going through a divorce, you should never speak badly about your spouse with your children around. While you may want to let off steam to a friend or family member, your children shouldn’t be caught up in the mix. Also, your kids should never take sides either. If you speak ill of your ex-partner, this can come back to bite you and ruin your relationship with your children.
Legitimize Their Feelings
Children react in all sorts of ways during a divorce. While some kids will accept the situation, others may throw a tantrum and react in anger. Many kids don’t like change and will struggle to adjust, which is why you need to legitimize their feelings and be prepared for any eventuality. Try and retain a positive mindset and look towards the future, otherwise, your kids will feel anxious and uneasy.
Look After Yourself
To be in the right frame of mind for looking after your kids during a divorce, you need to look after your own health and wellbeing. Many divorcees worry about how they will financially support themselves and their children after a divorce, which is why saving money during a divorce will ensure you have funds readily available as and when you need them. Also, make sure you get plenty of sleep, try relaxation techniques to de-stress, and watch what you eat.
Ask for Help
There is no shame in asking a family member or friend for help and support during your divorce. Whether you have sole or joint custody of your kids, you may need a helping hand to step in at the beginning. Your kids will notice something is wrong if you’re acting out of character, so don’t be afraid to lean on loved ones during this time. And if you’re worried about your children’s mental and physical wellbeing, don’t be afraid to seek professional help in the form of a therapist.
No matter the reason for your divorce, being in such a predicament can take an emotional toll on all parties involved. Your children’s health and wellbeing should always come first, which is what the guide above aims to help with.