Reasons why marriages fail

It’s a sad but true fact that almost 20 percent of marriages end in divorce within the first five years. Of course there are so many varying reasons why this happens. However the majority of divorce reasons tend to fall into a few select categories. I have listed below some of the main reasons why marriages do not work out.

1. Rushing into it – First comes love, a relationship and then marriage. The idea of marriage can seem bliss to some. The idea of the big day with all your family and friends watching, the huge dress and the big party are certainly things to get excited about. However it’s what comes after that big day that is most important and determines if your marriage will last. Sadly many couples rush into getting married without really thinking ahead. The idea of marriage is til death do you part. Therefore people need to consider if the person they are about to marry, is indeed the one they want to devote the rest of their life too.

2) Connection and Communication- Of course when we first meet that new partner, all we do is talk and find that special connection. However after a few years of marriage and living together, that connection spark can often fade and be replaced with the everyday routines of life. Communication is key to a successful marriage. It’s important to talk and still find time for your relationship despite having kids or work or other commitments.

3) In-Laws – Unfortunately this is something that I myself have experience in witnessing first hand as a child. I never fully knew the details but my father hated my mother’s mum and my father’s parents disliked my mother. Therefore there was always that atmosphere of one of them slagging off the other and looking back, it wasn’t a nice thing to listen to at all. Arguments, disagreements and fall outs with in-laws or other family members can lead to stress in a marriage.

4) Disrespect – This can cover many things and can apply to either person in the marriage. Feeling disrespected by your partner can be the downward spiral to divorce. Disrespect in a relationship can include not being listened to, hiding things, putting your partner down, not helping, not sharing and putting themselves first to name just a few.

5) Affairs – Probably the most common reason for divorce. However an affair is usually the result of an existing problem in the marriage. For example lack of intimacy or communication, feeling unloved, unwanted or understood. An affair is devastating and usually means divorce.

6) Lies & hiding things – A big part of making the commitment to marriage is agreeing to be totally honest with your partner. Sadly this is rarely the case. Many couples who end up divorcing do so because they haven’t been honest. They lie or cover things up, such as debt, addictions, affairs, talking to others of the opposite sex and the list goes on. Once a big lie is exposed it can be very hard to regain that trust again.

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