Watching your parents get older is never easy. The roles start to flip—suddenly, you’re looking out for them, wanting to make sure they’re safe, happy, and comfortable in their next chapter.
One of the biggest and most emotional steps? Helping them find a new place to live. Whether you’re searching for the right retirement community, senior apartment, or just a cozier spot closer to family, here’s how to make the journey a little smoother for everyone.
Start With Empathy and Open Conversation
First, take a breath and put yourself in their shoes. Leaving a longtime home, facing the reality of aging, and sorting through decades of memories can be overwhelming, even a little scary. Instead of jumping in with all the “solutions,” start with a gentle conversation. Ask how they feel about their current situation. Are they lonely or isolated? Is their home becoming too much to manage? Let them voice what they want, not just what you think is best.
Commit to open and ongoing conversations about needs and hopes. Listen more than you talk (hard as that can be when you’re worried), and check back in regularly as things change.
Figure Out What They Really Need—And Want
Some parents just need extra help now and then—think yard work or meals. Others need daily support, or have mobility issues that make stairs or big houses unsafe. Make a list together: what’s essential (like no stairs, nearby healthcare) and what’s a bonus (gardening space, activities, pet-friendly policies). Don’t forget to factor in transportation and opportunities for social connection—staying involved and engaged can help seniors stay healthy longer.
Tour Options Together
There’s a world of choices, from independent living communities to assisted living, co-housing, or even moving in with you (if that’s something everyone wants). Research what’s nearby and within budget. Look for breakdowns of the differences between various senior living models and what questions to ask on tours.
Whenever possible, look at several places together. Talk with residents, sample the food, and spend unhurried time in common spaces. The feeling of “home” is just as important as the checklist—sometimes the right spot feels right when you walk through the door.
Budget Honestly (But Think Creatively)
Housing costs can be a shock, especially for the best-equipped senior communities. Sit down together and talk comfortably about finances—savings, pensions, Medicare, and insurance. Sometimes, moving to a smaller place frees up cash for care. Other times, pooling resources with siblings or selling the family house makes sense.
Stay Involved Through the Transition
Once you’ve chosen a new place, help pack (there will be laughs, and maybe a few tears), set up the new home, and check in often, especially those first few weeks. Encourage old friends to visit or call. The move may bring up a lot of emotions—be patient and celebrate the milestones.
At the end of the day, helping your parents find a new place to live isn’t just about bricks and mortar. It’s about honoring their story and helping them keep writing it. Hand in hand, you’ll find a spot that feels just right.
