The emotional distress couples face surrounding a divorce or separation is difficult enough, but when you add young children into the mix, the situation is even more challenging. While it may be the right decision to divorce, your kids may not see it that way. Although you can click here to learn more about child custody matters during and after divorce, you still need to prepare your kids for it.
Here are some key strategies for helping them adjust to your divorce.
Break the News Together
Whether you’ve come to the decision amicably, or your partner has decided it’s time to call it a day, no parent should have to break the news of the divorce to their kids on their own. You must do it together and show a sense of unity. You mustn’t keep the news a secret or wait until the last second to tell your kids. Once the news is out, you can start divorce proceedings by hiring a lawyer. CJB Law’s legal team knows Minnesota divorce law, so you can be confident you have a lawyer with experience.
Omit the Gory Details
When guiding your kids through a divorce, it’s wise to leave out the gory details behind it. Your children don’t need to know what has gone on, and they may be too young to understand anyway. If the divorce isn’t amicable, you will have all kinds of negative energy surrounding you without realizing it, meaning you may begin bad-mouthing your ex-spouse to your kids. You should not do this as it can create tension and make your children feel like they must side with a parent.
While some children handle a divorce pretty well, others find it difficult to let out their emotions. It’s your job to encourage honesty and provide plenty of reassurance so they know they’re not to blame. Sadly, some kids believe they’re the reason for the divorce, which can hugely impact their mental health. As long as you reassure your kids and keep a positive mindset, this should help them feel calm.
Keep Up Routines
Your child may be frightened of what the future holds after a divorce. This means you need to stick to the same routine as best you can, so your kids don’t feel out of place. Whether it’s mealtimes, bedtime, or playing, sticking to their daily schedule as closely as you can is important. The more sameness you provide, the more your kids will feel settled.
Take Care of You
You may not be aware, but your kids will watch you closely as you deal with the aftermath of a divorce. Therefore, taking care of yourself and keeping in good spirits is vital until you reach a settlement. If your kids see you full of stress and anxiety, they may feel agitated themselves. To avoid shutting down, make sure you’re taking good care of your mind and body.
Regardless of how long you were together, the end of a marriage can be devastating. On top of dealing with your own emotions, you will need to be there for your kids too. All the strategies above can help your children come to terms with the life change and ensure their health and wellbeing are put first.