Meeting someone new should be fun and exciting. As your relationship grows and you start to find out more about your other half, the love then starts to flow.
Unfortunately not all relationships turn out this way. A big cause of relationship failure, especially of new relationships, is because one person is not quite over their last relationship and is likely “on the rebound”. These relationships rarely work as the person on the rebound is likely just filling a gap to avoid the loneliness of not being in a relationship. They could also be with that person as a way to get their ex jealous too.
More often than not though the person is completely oblivious to the fact that they’re looking for a rebound relationship. They are feeling a loss and are doing what feels right to them in order to make themselves whole. It’s completely natural and nothing to be ashamed about. Sometimes things will work out great but you always want to be aware of your potential partners mental state before committing too much of yourself.
Where you meet your new potential love interest can also have a big impact on how likely they are to be looking for a rebound. There are a LOT of singles that use the popular hookup apps out there to find someone short-term to fill a need. If you’re using those, don’t expect to find lasting love. A general rule is that people you meet in public or through your friends are usually going to be more interested in a relationship than those you meet online.
It’s not always easy to know if your partner is with you as a rebound. However there are certain signs to look out for and spot which I’ve listed below. These may just help save your relationship or save future heartbreak. You can also read this good article from ReGain to find out more about the signs of a rebound relationship.
1) They talk about the ex a lot – Some exes may stay in touch. Depending on how the relationship ended they may even stay friends. Or they may have children together and therefore still have some contact. However if none of this applies and they are constantly mentioning them, in either a good or bad way; then chances are that they still have hung up feelings for their ex.
2) Comparing you to their ex – Does your partner compare your cooking or the way you look to his/her ex? Perhaps they will mention how their ex did things in a different way to how you do things. If you feel like it’s a competition between you and your partners ex, then it could be a sure sign your partner is on the rebound.
3) Mixed signals – When somebody is in a rebound relationship, it means they are still thinking a lot about their ex. This in itself causes distraction leading to them giving their partner mixed and somewhat confusing signals. One day they’ll be all over their partner and the next it can feel like rejection.
4) Not opening up – New relationships are all about getting to know each other and good communication. In the case of a rebound relationship it can often feel to the other partner that they are not fully opening up or putting on a false pretense.
5) Lack of commitment – This can apply to many other situations other than just a rebound. However mixed with other rebound signs it can indicate that they are not fully healed from their last relationship breakup and are perhaps filling the gap with their current partner until they feel ready for something or someone else.
If you find yourself with a partner who may be on the rebound from their ex, then it’s important to address the situation. Communication is key in this instance and will determine if the relationship will last the course or not. Talking and discussing things is the first step to working things out.